River Hike

All veteran Peace Corps of Samoa talk about the River Hike. The word the get’s used to describe it is “insane”. In my last post I talked about the search and desire for adventure, well this weekend I definitely found it. I also found out that I may not be the same girl who jumped off the high dive when I was 2, or my conscious has developed a little bit since then.

Chris and Rivka hosted us at their home Friday night; me, Rachael, Tevi, Danny, and Mika. We woke up Saturday morning and enjoyed a lovely breakfast of banana bread, fruit, and wheat bix. We all dressed in our hiking/water wear. All of us were strapping on our Tevas as Mika was tying up is Jordans. Mika is one of the few you will find in this country sporting closed toed shoes. Thankfully, Chris had another pair of sandals that surprisingly fit Mikas size 12 feet. We took a group photo and hopped in the taxi.

About 45 minutes later we arrived in the middle of the jungle pulling up to a fale hidden by various trees and plants. We met the owners and our tour guide. Our pre hike training was, well none existent. We were given a walking stick and told that all the jumps, except for the last one, were 100% participation.

The first part of the hike was not bad. The river was low and slow. We moved up to the side and began to walk along the ledge. Our tour guide turned to us and said to be careful of landslides. We continue along the ledge and back down to the river where it became deeper and you could start to feel the current. We have reached out first waterfall. It’s beautiful and we all take some time to swim around and jump off the rocks. Then we are shown where the first jump is. Not too high, the concern is how we get to it. We find ourselves climbing like Spiderman over to the ledge one at a time. About a 1 story jump, not bad. I turn off my brain and jump. We see the boys climbing up the side of the mountain to another jump, this one is twice as high. Again the question here being how we get up there. We watch the boys do it and decide its safe. The girls climb and jump. This time there was a slight hesitation, but what’s the worst that can happen? So I jump. Time to continue, we follow our tour guide up the rocks, thank god I was a gymnast and I tapped into my inner monkey during these climbs. It was at this point when I looked down and realized if anyone of us slips and falls, we are screwed. It was also at this point I realized that this would not be a good activity for Renee. The climb continued until we reached level ground. Along the way there were more waterfalls and jumps, but smaller than the first. We were all hyping ourselves up for the last waterfall, with the highest jump. No Peace Corps female has ever jumped it before. Rachel is right on board, I am wondering why no girl has jumped it.

After about a 3 hour journey we reach the last waterfall. It’s beautiful, of course. I am looking for the ledge to jump, and from what I see there isn’t any. We all decided we are going to at least go up and then make our decision from there. This time we climb up the side of a steep mountain, safer than slippery rocks. We make it to the top. We all look down, it’s freakin high. Maybe three story’s or a little more. The guide goes first, he survives but he is also Samoan and I swear these people are made differently, superhero body parts. Rachael decides you can’t think about it and just goes. I can’t see her once she jumps and we all listen for the splash, which seems like it takes forever. Once we hear the splash we listen for her, she’s alive. Next all the boys go. Rivka and I are up there alone. I am next. I tell her to say something encouraging to me. I am standing on the ledge, looking down and see this rock protruding out the side. Right now all that’s in my mind is I am going to hit it. Everyone is yelling at me from below, Rivka is chanting “you gotta do it, you gotta do it”. I turn around one more time and look at her, then turn back. I take a quote from my Buddhism book and whisper to myself “I am here”. Close my eyes and jump. The most exhilarating thing I have done ever. Everyone below greeted me with hugs and kisses as a swam up to them. Then we all turned to cheer on Rivka, who jumped. We all hugged and high fived and felt so accomplished. Our tour guide was calling us the super 7. The adrenaline that goes through your body after that is unexplainable, making me look forward to bungee jumping in New Zealand…..

Peace and Love

Gather round kids its story time....

My alarm goes off at 2:30 Am. I slowly get out of bed to boil some water. Coffee coffee coffee. It’s the only way to do this. Its only a day trip so I just need to make sure I have my wallet phone and keys. I hear the bus pass. Okay I have at least 20 minutes if not more. I get dressed and pour my coffee into a jar. I go to open the door and hear what I hope I am not hearing…but yes its true, the bus passing by. But it’s only three o’clock. There must be another one. I go outside and sit. Drinking my coffee and taking in the starry night sky. I must admit it’s one of the best features of this country, the night sky. I have never seen anything like it. It feels like the entire world has stopped, even the animals are sleeping.

3:30…4:00…..5:00

Well at this point I know I am not catching the 6am ferry. Cross your fingers to catch the 8 o’clock.

5:15….5:30….5:45…..crap….

Whatever you think a bus sounds like….insert sound here….

6:00 Jackpot! A bus…

We make our way to the wharf. It’s the small boat but I don’t mind because there are not many people. I sit up at the top and feel the boat rock back and forth slowly making its way to Upolu.

9:30 I arrive at the wharf in Upolu and hurry to the only bus waiting to take people to town. I pull the palagi card and grab a seat. 60 people on a 30 person bus, looks like a hour ride with 2 butts in my face, awesome.

Game plan, go to the ATM and take out money for my New Zealand ticket then head to the travel company to pay for the ticket. Then enjoy the only thing Apia is good for, a decent meal.

10:30: At the ATM….no money.

Sidebar…mom transferred money from my US account to my Samoa acct to purchase my New Zealand ticket. The travel company here offers a killer deal, 250 American dollars round trip. Started Monday ends Friday….its Friday

Cue panic now…

Change of plans….Westpac bank it is.

“I’m sorry but there is no record of a transfer in your account. Go ask for Mika and Junior, upstairs”

Waiting for Mika and Junior…11:30….12:00

Mika brings me downstairs where they tell me the same thing the first person told me.

During this time I am waiting for my mom to call me back….she finally does and says she got a confirmation that it went through. She gives me some kind of number.

Stress level is rising.

The teller tells me that number is invalid. Calls some people upstairs…still nothing

1:00

Mom calls, she spoke with a BOA rep, he says it should be there by the next day.

Okay so someone else doesn’t have my money that’s good. Stress going down….

1:30

The bus for the last ferry leaves at 2:00…

I sprint to the travel office. Purchase mine Tevi’s and Olivias tickets.

1:55

Sprint to the bus stop….

I like to go out the same way I came in…Samoan ass in the face all the way to the wharf.

What did you do today?

Peace and Love

Jolly July

            July was a month of constant climb, climbing back to the top. As you all know, June was a low point. Thankfully, each day in July got better. Like I said I would do, I took the pressure off myself. I opened my mind back up to the culture, and in return fell in love with it again. Most importantly, I took time for me. When you choose to do something like this with your life sometimes people mistake giving yourself with giving up yourself. I am giving my time, patience, help, knowledge, love and compassion to these people. I needed to remember at no time did I say I would forget myself, give up who I was to do this. What made me… well me. I think what made me come back to a high point was remembering myself, I was giving all of the love, compassion and help to the people here but not giving it to myself and gradually I stopped giving it to them without even realizing it. My goal for July, work on myself. In the end working on myself made me a better person, volunteer and teacher and most importantly I was so much happier.

So to recap July for you all….

            As you all know we had a beautiful program for the 4^th of July. Go America. School was going well. I felt my bond with the teachers and students growing stronger. I saw improvement in the school and students. My reading program is going well, the days that I could actually do it. There are still the struggles of dealing with such an irregular school schedule, different mindsets between me and the teachers. I try to take in the small changes I see day to day. I also realized I am not just here to teach and change the lives of these students; they are changing my life and teaching me things about myself and the world. We are putting on an English program at the end of term 2 (end of august). Each class is preparing some kind of performance, all done in English. Parents and friends come to watch the event. I along with neighboring PCV’s will be the judges, because somewhere along the way it turned into a competition. There is a small obsession with trophies here.



We did lose our first 83er. It was hard for me to lose such a close friend, especially in this situation. It was the right decision for her, and I am proud of her.  A good thing did come out of her early departure; it made me realize that this is where I need to be and where I want to be.



Me and Liv ready for our advenmture



The rest of July is kind of a bore. Rob and Olivia spent a weekend at my house. We enjoyed dinner at our favorite pizza place on Savaii, the only pizza place, Seki a Pizza. Rob built me a bookshelf which just changed my bedroom drastically. We also took an adventure to Nancy’s house for lunch one day. I use the word adventure to make it sound, well adventurous. The truth is we walked for 15 minutes to a nearby bakery and sat for an hour waiting for the bread, which wasn’t done in time to catch the bus. So we gave up on the bread and caught the bus. Enjoyed a delicious American meal of Kraft Mac n Cheese. I did wear a cool hat to look more adventurous.

My favorite meal on Savaii



Rob the builder



Enjoy the Pictures….

Peace and Love



Cat for sale...2 tala



mark and grace practicing their ABCs

Year 8 Girls

Katie and Me

Sarai taking after her Peace Corps Sister

Love you girl....missing you

Pig Brains

Today I tried pig brains

it wasnt very good

It tasted like dead pig

But i never thought it would

Gooey and mushy, it feels like slime

Eating this stuff should be a crime

So if you want to try this disgusting dish

I tried to warn you but do as you wish

But i must tell you and its not very kind

If you eat pig brains your out of your mind

 

(based on true events)

Bigger than Me



PC Samoa <3 Girl Scouts



“If you are currently serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, please stand”

We were the last people to celebrate 4^th of July in the world. It was a beautiful gathering of fellow Peace Corps volunteers, returned volunteers, PC staff, Embassy members, Ex-pats, and people from the Samoan government and community. All who are, once were, working for or befriended by a Peace Corps volunteer in their lifetime. We were not only there to celebrate US independence, but also the 50^th anniversary of Peace Corps. At the beginning of the program fellow PCV and MC of the night, Blakey, said the twelve words that gave me chills and filled me with pride.

“If you are currently serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, please stand”

Everyone was watching us, beaming with bright eyes and smiles. Not just Americans either. They were happy we were there, they were proud of us, and they were thankful for us. As silly as it sounds our group looked around at each other, and shot smiles back and forth. It was a rough month, a lot of questioning and insecurity. This was the night we needed. It reminded us of who we are and why we are here. When the returned volunteers stood up, some volunteers who served over twenty years ago, I realized that this experience is about being a part of something way bigger than just me and group 83. It’s about being part of Peace Corps Samoa.  It’s a special group of people who I will forever have a connection with, even if I have never met them. Talking with old volunteers gave me the courage I need to make it through to the end and it wasn’t sugar-coated. I know it will be hard until the very last day. But who joins the Peace Corps to have an easy life? I kind of asked for this didn’t I?



The night not only boasted on the PC but as well as our motherland. Red White and Blue was everywhere. An orchestra of Samoan children and PCVs played throughout the night. We sang the national anthem, which made me want to be at a Rays game. There was festive cake and cupcakes. We ended the night dancing around the yard like fairies with sparklers in our hands singing the National Anthem one more time. For just one night we were able to completely be the thing we are most proud of, Americans.

Lopati and Danny



Often this experience is compared to a rollercoaster ride. When I meet with other volunteers a common questions is “where are you on the rollercoaster?”I think you are able to see that through my blogs. Last month I wanted to get off the ride. Now I’m shouting with my hands in the air ready for more.

Peace and Love

  

Me and Supy

My Biggest Fear

When I joined the Peace Corps I had many different expectations. I thought I would be working with the poorest of the poor, living in a hut made of mud and sticks, no running water, and let’s just say I never thought I would have the luxury of a flushing toilet. Emotionally, I thought that I would be dealing with the feelings of inadequacy of myself and contributions. I feared that I would never be able to give the people enough or what they deserved. I was prepared as I could be for everything above. I was ready to rough it. I was ready to be torn apart but only to build myself back up to another person. I was going to come out of this experience a new person.

So I am going to be honest, and I warn you it does not shine the best light on me. I think you will find my current state interesting and a different perspective; one I definitely never saw coming.

Impassion: My best semester in college was my internship. I was so passionate about teaching and my students. I dedicated all my time. I love it. Even when I did my practicum teaching in my training village I felt like I was on fire, I love every minute of it. When I first arrived at my site I was so excited to teach and bring new ideas and methods to the school. I was so excited to see the students each day. Since term two rolled around I feel like I just go through the motions every day. I still put in as much work as I did before however I think you could notice the decrease in my enthusiasm. I don’t want to do anything else that may be different because the next thing will be “what else can you do”.

Unappreciated: Now this culture is amazing and I receive more respect than imaginable. I don’t blame the people on why I feel this way. It’s part of their culture and a difference between ours and theirs. I guess this is part of a fear I had before coming here; the whole I would never be able to give the people enough. I feel that way but only because I am always asked for more. I would be okay if I was asked for help on lesson plans and teaching methods. But at times it’s “more things” that are wanted and are not realistic in the situation. I am finding out a lot of what I am capable of, but my main goal is to get the teachers to realize what they are capable of. I want people to want to do instead of me just doing.

            Unhappiness: This is something I have been working on and almost overcome. I knew I would be struggling and unhappy at times, but again not for the reasons I thought. Mainly I am unhappy for feeling the two things above. I hate that I feel that way. I also think that it stems from giving up yourself when you come here. When you arrive the village you want to be the perfect Peace Corps. You give up lots of parts of yourself to be culturally appropriate. There is a fine line though, can’t forget who you are.

Burnt Out: This is a correlation of all the words above. It’s just discouraging considering I am only 9 months in.

            As a volunteer we have specific goals. No volunteer is in their site to find a way to get a bunch of money. Ultimately we work with counterparts and an organization and teach those ways to receive aid, set realistic goals, and run a successful and effective program. We need the groups of people we work with to be sustainable on their own once we leave. It’s a tough battle especially when the people you work with may have different ideas, goals and priorities. For example; I think desks for student might be more important than VIP toilets.

What feeling does almost every Peace Corps dread the most?

            Wanting to go home

How do I cope with this?

Focus. I went back and rewrote my goals for my term here. You have to take the pressure of yourself. Big or small; a change is a change. I am finding my way back to a balance. I do things that I need for me. This experience is such a selfless sacrifice but you are useless if you’re unhappy. Remember the past and planning for the future can be exhausting. You can’t compare this time to what was and what will be. You will only find yourself in a situation of missing and wanting.

Even though I have been feeling like I want to go home I know it’s not a option for me. Everything I have been going through is all part of the journey. I knew that I was signing up for a two year commitment. But I get it; I see the reason why so many people go back.

So here it is… my biggest fear. When all is said and done…

Did I give up my happiness to stay instead of giving up my pride to go home?

Peace and Love