Happy 1 Year

Today feels like any other day for the most part. I went to school, taught some lessons, ate lunch and came home, took a nap, read some of my book and did some laundry. But this day is a little special. Exactly one year ago I arrived here in Samoa. Exactly one year ago I became someone new. Exactly one year ago my life changed. Sitting here now at my kitchen table looking around I know I am exactly where I want to be, where I need to be. During this experience I have changed slowly and in small ways. I was reading through old journal entries and came across something I wrote in my very first journal entry. It was before I left. I was scared and I questioned myself. Why was I doing this?

September 13, 2010

“I want to be broken into pieces and built back up”

Deep I know. But what did I mean? I wanted to become a different person, a better person. However, the journey to become this person went a completely different direction than what I thought. I thought I was going to hand over myself on a platter to this culture and its people. I was going to do whatever they needed me to do for them. I was going to become the person they needed me to be and in return I would be a better person. Through all my trials and struggles during this year I slowly learned that the person they needed me to be was me. My biggest battle was with myself and who I thought I needed to be. It did happen to me, the pieces breaking. But I didn’t need new pieces; I wanted to be built back up with the same ones. However there were some pieces that didn’t fit anymore. Like that piece that needed hot showers or technology to teach a lesson. Some pieces got bigger; patience, respect and body odor. I eventually found myself all over the floor searching for an architect, which I should have known was me. Time is building me back up. I don’t think I will ever be finished. We are forever breaking; just make sure you always carry your super glue.

What’s important is that today I feel whole. Today I feel happy and proud. And that’s all I can ask for.

Happy 1 Year

Peace and Love