Fa’a Glee…here is a little mash-up of most recent events in my life….

            The Saturday after Thanksgiving, the new Chargè d’Affaires invited us over for a Thanksgiving feast and oh what a feast it was!!! Walking into the embassy was like stepping out of Samoa for a couple hours. The house is surrounded by a tall concrete wall, so really you can pretend. The house, although a very interestingly modern style, is filled with western furniture and gadgets. There were little palagi children running around inviting me to play….wait for it….. Wii!!! I was a disappointment to the youngsters with my poor performance in Mario cart, but I enjoyed myself. The star of the event of course was the food. Once the food was served, not a peep was made. We all paced ourselves trying to cram as much in as possible and of course leaving room for some pumpkin pie. It was the perfect day, great food great company. We were spoiled for the day but it wasn’t long until we had to step back into our real life, Wii not included.

            The celebration of Thanksgiving seemed like a second long compared to the festivities of last week. It was the last week for students and the preparations for Prize Giving commenced.  Prize Giving is the end of the school year celebration honoring the students and the Graduating class. Veteran Peace Corps would always tell me, just wait until Prize Giving, everything that you go through will be worth it. I have been on a high for a while now so I didn’t need Prize Giving to validate anything for me, none the less it was a truly special moment. It was one of the few times you see all the students praised for their school work. Each student is called to receive their report card and various family members and friends come up and give them money or ulas (necklaces made of glad wrap and candy). The top students would perform a dance and receive a pot or cups for their family. I know your thinking, pots and cups? What child would want that? Pick your battles is what they say right? This is the way they have been doing it since forever. I wasn’t going to fight it; I just added books and educational items to my prizes. Everyone wins!

After the children stuffed faces with candy and danced like mad people the event was over, all that was left was a floor covered with candy wrappers. I let out a big sigh knowing where all the trash was going to go….swept over the cliff. I walked to the classroom to tidy up and when I came back to the hall all the teachers had picked a bench and fallen asleep. I walked home to do the same in the comfort of my own bed.

Over the weekend I had to give some final goodbyes to the last of the 82’s. It is weird to think that there will only be the 19 of us come next year. My closest neighbor will now be about 1 hour bus ride away.

Rachael texted me the other day and said 11 and a half months. Once we get back from break everything is going to be a last; last January, last term 1, last East etc. Time is flying by, exciting and scary all rolled into one. My plan is to enjoy every second of it.  As for now I am itching to get to New Zealand. This week of school is just a teacher’s week, and I am not quite sure what the purpose of it is, so far we have drunk cocoa. Maybe tomorrow will be a little more eventful, but that is just wishful thinking….

Peace and Love

Finally Ready Again.....

Okay so I know if you talk to me I will have an excuse as to why I haven't updated my blog...but this one is like really real....

Two Thursdays ago we recieved a VERY exciting machine; A COPY MACHINE! It was very convenient considering the next week (last week) was going to be exam week. So just to let you know before the teachers would write their exams (thank God I only had 2 ) on Newsprint (larger but thinner posters). So a normal test would take up about 6 to 8 papers and sometimes more. So less work and a more effiecent way for the students to take their test. But you know what happened.... the teachers wanted their tests typed....and you know who they asked to do it....yes me. Now I am not complaining, well really, because I 100% excepted the job and completely OVER-estimating my typing ablitlies. So the teachers, in their timely fashion gave me the tests the Sunday before test week ( i hope your sensing the sarcasm). So I spent the week glued to my computer, only to get up to make copies and pass them out to teachers. I typed about 30 tests half of which were in Samoan, and let me just tell you the microsofts automatic functions come no help when you need A E I O instead of A B C D as multiple choice. So literally I typed all week, and there for really had nothing interesting to talk about and no enthusiasm whatsoever to write a blog post. But after a nice relaxing weekend I am re-charged and ready to blow your minds away with my words.

Last week was like a little glimpse into the American life. Most of the time here I find myself twidling my thumbs looking for more things to do. So honestly typing tests for the week seemed like a good idea at the time. I found myself working til deadline trying to finish certain test for certain days. Going home at 6:30 and waking up at 5:00 to make sure all my work was finished. I had no time to relax or read a book, I mean yes I could have stayed up past 8:30 but have you ever stared at a computer screen for 7 hours? Ones eyes are just not strong enough to remain open the rest of the day. Thursday rolled around I was finally finished with my work and just exhausted. So what will happen when I assimilate back into the crazy fast lane culture I was once in. Here it takes me a day to go to the bank. What happens when I have to go to the bank, grocery shopping, do a delivery for my mom, send some e-mails, and work all in one day? Not to mention making sure i "check in" at all the above places to inform that cyber population that is oh so interested in my whereabouts at every second. I understand that American makes it easy to do all these things in one day, but not leisurly, leaving us exhausted but making our list for the next days events while falling asleep to whatever we tevod the night before. No one even has time for commercials anymore! I know I once loved that life, and it will only be a matter of time before I embrace it again. But I hope I can still have some time for myself and maintain my new favorite hobby of reading. You know what you wont find me doing though? Checking into places on my phone, if you are that interested you can call or text me to ask.

Friday I went into town for an errand I had to do at the bank. I met up with Rob and Olivia before catching the bus. We had our catch up of the weeks events and talked about our evening plans. Rob and Olivia were having a date night playing scrabble and I was planning to catch up on some much needed sleep. We all just shook our heads laughing at our dullness. Rob asked "What would you be doing tonight if you were at home". I visionsed myself meeting up with my girlfriends for cocktails and dinner at Cantina. And then a night on the town for some much missed american music and dancing. I talked about all my favorite spots and people I would see and songs I wanted to here. Oh I do miss the excitment of America and wearing high heels. By the time I get home I will have no arch left in my feet. But for now I have to take in the simplicity and slow paced life that is Samoa. I do love every second of it, and yes it may turned me against the ways of the American lifestyle. But I will let you in on a little secret.... I am just jealous.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving. So I just want to give all my American friends and Family a little love. I will be thinking of you. Enjoy the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and pumpkin pie... but most of all enjoy eachother and be thankful for where you are and what you have.

Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving

Peace and Love


These are pictures of me as the "Taualuga". The traditional dance that is performed at the end of a ceremony Tausala. Yes I am wearing a woven mat :)

Its Rainy Season...

Oh rain rain go away… It is getting into the wet season here on this beautiful island. Sometimes I think Samoa might drown, or even worse I will lose my tan. I forgot how much rain there was when I first got here. It is nice to fall asleep and wake up to, which is what has been happening the past two weeks. With rain, comes the feeling of restlessness which is a perfect way to describe term three. The year 8’s have finished their national exams so now they play volleyball. The teachers seem too tired to teach and the students too antsy to learn. I feel accomplished surviving one lesson each day. It’s all the students can handle these days. I don’t blame them. I can’t say that I have that much more motivation than the other teachers either and I only have to teach for an hour each day. Everyone is ready for summer.
My principal told me that I needed to get something for the school, to prove my work and time here. Today I walked into my library and it looked like a tornado went through it. Books everywhere, pages torn and even somehow books were glued together. The library was the contribution of the previous Peace Corps, his proof of existence in the school. You see where I am going with this? Personally I feel my presence and time I put into the school and students is proof enough but they want something flashy. So I think maybe I’ll get a big statue of myself. Feel free to e-mail me ideas for poses.

Ana Fiti Me Nerry and Leu on Teachers Day

My sisters... Lina Fili Ida and Sarai on White Sunday

Decompression time....

The Wheels on the Bus

There are some days when I wake up and forget where I am. When I realize it I think wow I really am here. Then most days I just completely fall into my Samoan life. This day was a typical Tuesday and for the most part a typical bus ride. It wasn’t until I was home wiping puke off my bag, with no feelings of disgust or anger, that I realized how “untypical” this bus ride would be in America. Sometimes I get shocked by my lack of reaction to things, but this instance especially…I call these moments my “Samoan Moments”, the moments where all my American habits leave me and I am completely indulged into this way of life.
Samoan Moment: Bus Ride
As soon as I got on the bus I knew it was going to be a tight ride home. A 400 lb woman offered the 3 inches left of her seat for me to sit, but I couldn’t complain because it was the only seat left. The bus was stopped within only three minutes of its departure when I pregnant woman got on and without hesitation I gave up my seat ( I would like to think I would have been this polite in America but I didn’t find myself considering it until it was the culturally appropriate thing to do). So my seat was gone and I left my bags in the front and wiggled my way to the isle where a 400 lb man offered his lap, I respectfully declined. The bus was on the move again but no sooner did it start moving that it got stopped again. At this point I was getting nervous because the bus was jammed packed and we still had 1.5 hours before our district, this bus couldn’t fit anymore but it would try. When the bus stopped a family got on and the man offered me his seat (it is also culturally appropriate to give a seat to a palagi). A child was placed on my lap and no, I had no idea who he was. The bus was in motion again and there were a couple more stops and people getting on and babies being passed around. The woman standing next to me decided to use me as a base to lean against, and she wasn’t holding any of the weight back, so I gave up my seat. I decided it would be much more comfortable to stand then to be used as back support to a woman. The ride wasn’t bad after that. Once the bus got going it didn’t stop until we got to our district. I had to get one and off a lot, seeing as how I was standing in the isle. Each time a seat was open I tried to get to it but someone always beat me to it. Finally I got a seat in the very front, which is like the VIP section. There was a man standing in front of me with someone else’s baby. Cute kid that I was making funny faces with. Suddenly he was the one making a funny face that only my years of working with children made me recognize but it wasn’t quick enough. Yes, that face was the I am going to hurl face, and he did, all over my feet. The man holding the baby turned him to the side and then took him off the bus. Side note, this was not the child’s father, and they never got back on the bus. Anyways I got my feet wiped down with a lavalava and got a glimpse of my bags. Yes, they were covered with baby puke.
Soon I was home, wiping my bags off. I unloaded my groceries (thankfully got spared the baby fluids) and now I am sitting here drinking tea and listening to Adele. It was a good day.
Also I thought it might be fun to let you all know what I have been watching, reading, and listening to lately. You may do what you please with this information 
Book:
The Choice Effect (Love Commitment in an Age of Too Many Options)
By Amalia McGibbon, Lara Vogel, Claire Williams
- MUST READ FOR ALL FEMALES 20-35! I just started it but have been laughing through the whole thing. Basically it explains why we are moving away from the traditional path of life, and that its okay.
Show:
Sons of Anarchy (FX)
If you enjoy thrilling combat and brotherly love this is for you. But if you also love passion and family values it is for you too. I don’t know how many seasons there are, but we have three in this country. Feel free to send more over 
Music:
Adele : 21

PEACE AND LOVE

Sutherlands in Samoa

            I talked to my parents today, both were a little disappointed that my latest blog post was not about their trip. I have written several drafts of that certain post. I just can’t decide on what I really want to talk about or my tone of the events. I mean do I really tell you guys that I hadn’t seen my parents in 1 year and it only took 3 days for me to get annoyed by my Mom telling me what to do and her and my Dad bickering about his driving? I decided that yes, I do tell you this. Why, because it’s funny and it’s my family and I love them for it. I mean you think they would be able to contain themselves for the first hour of seeing their daughter that they hadn’t seen in a year, before my mom threatening to move by herself to the mountains. Which after doing the Robert Lewis Stevenson hike (if you heard the story my mom probably referred to this as a vertical rock climb) I know the “moving to the mountains threat” is just silly. Today she told me she was going to move to the city alone.

            So my parents came, saw and conquered Samoa. They went to church and had the traditional To’onai meal with my family. I think they both were surprised, and my mom a little relieved, that the food wasn’t that strange. My dad had a chance to sleep outside and my mom was able to sleep with walls every night. There were no bug freak outs!!! Most importantly, they learned what I like to call “the art of doing nothing”. There was a lot of “so what do we do now”, just enjoy where you are. I think my mom was a little disappointed in the lack of shopping, my dad wasn’t.

            The trip was good for them. It’s so hard to understand something until you can actually see and experience it. I think that they were able to realize that this is my life right now, and to me everything I do and am surrounded by is normal. They may use the word “poor” but I like to use “simple”, but I mean who wants to describe their lifestyle as poor? But they can see that I live in simplicity, and I am okay without the luxuries I used to have. That’s all any parent ever wants though isn’t it? Whether there in Samoa, a different state or across the street; they just want to make sure there child is safe and happy.

After Samoa my amazing parents took me to Hawaii for a week, A little taste of America with the relaxed island attitudes. Heaven.

HUGE THANK YOU TO JOANNE AND MIKE MALLON. Wish you were there, you guys are amazing <3

Hawaii was perfect. I got a haircut and a pedicure. My mom and I were able to do some mother daughter time shopping around the endless amounts of stores. Great food and GREAT TV. And the beds, like lying in the clouds! Oh ya the scenery was pretty beautiful as well J but yes this was me in Hawaii, when most want to go to the beach and learn how to surf. I wanted to go straight to a star bucks and get a iced coffee and bagel, and catch up on the ridiculous but addicting reality TV.

 Did I mention how great my parents are? Thanks Mom and Dad

Happy 1 Year

Today feels like any other day for the most part. I went to school, taught some lessons, ate lunch and came home, took a nap, read some of my book and did some laundry. But this day is a little special. Exactly one year ago I arrived here in Samoa. Exactly one year ago I became someone new. Exactly one year ago my life changed. Sitting here now at my kitchen table looking around I know I am exactly where I want to be, where I need to be. During this experience I have changed slowly and in small ways. I was reading through old journal entries and came across something I wrote in my very first journal entry. It was before I left. I was scared and I questioned myself. Why was I doing this?

September 13, 2010

“I want to be broken into pieces and built back up”

Deep I know. But what did I mean? I wanted to become a different person, a better person. However, the journey to become this person went a completely different direction than what I thought. I thought I was going to hand over myself on a platter to this culture and its people. I was going to do whatever they needed me to do for them. I was going to become the person they needed me to be and in return I would be a better person. Through all my trials and struggles during this year I slowly learned that the person they needed me to be was me. My biggest battle was with myself and who I thought I needed to be. It did happen to me, the pieces breaking. But I didn’t need new pieces; I wanted to be built back up with the same ones. However there were some pieces that didn’t fit anymore. Like that piece that needed hot showers or technology to teach a lesson. Some pieces got bigger; patience, respect and body odor. I eventually found myself all over the floor searching for an architect, which I should have known was me. Time is building me back up. I don’t think I will ever be finished. We are forever breaking; just make sure you always carry your super glue.

What’s important is that today I feel whole. Today I feel happy and proud. And that’s all I can ask for.

Happy 1 Year

Peace and Love

River Hike

All veteran Peace Corps of Samoa talk about the River Hike. The word the get’s used to describe it is “insane”. In my last post I talked about the search and desire for adventure, well this weekend I definitely found it. I also found out that I may not be the same girl who jumped off the high dive when I was 2, or my conscious has developed a little bit since then.

Chris and Rivka hosted us at their home Friday night; me, Rachael, Tevi, Danny, and Mika. We woke up Saturday morning and enjoyed a lovely breakfast of banana bread, fruit, and wheat bix. We all dressed in our hiking/water wear. All of us were strapping on our Tevas as Mika was tying up is Jordans. Mika is one of the few you will find in this country sporting closed toed shoes. Thankfully, Chris had another pair of sandals that surprisingly fit Mikas size 12 feet. We took a group photo and hopped in the taxi.

About 45 minutes later we arrived in the middle of the jungle pulling up to a fale hidden by various trees and plants. We met the owners and our tour guide. Our pre hike training was, well none existent. We were given a walking stick and told that all the jumps, except for the last one, were 100% participation.

The first part of the hike was not bad. The river was low and slow. We moved up to the side and began to walk along the ledge. Our tour guide turned to us and said to be careful of landslides. We continue along the ledge and back down to the river where it became deeper and you could start to feel the current. We have reached out first waterfall. It’s beautiful and we all take some time to swim around and jump off the rocks. Then we are shown where the first jump is. Not too high, the concern is how we get to it. We find ourselves climbing like Spiderman over to the ledge one at a time. About a 1 story jump, not bad. I turn off my brain and jump. We see the boys climbing up the side of the mountain to another jump, this one is twice as high. Again the question here being how we get up there. We watch the boys do it and decide its safe. The girls climb and jump. This time there was a slight hesitation, but what’s the worst that can happen? So I jump. Time to continue, we follow our tour guide up the rocks, thank god I was a gymnast and I tapped into my inner monkey during these climbs. It was at this point when I looked down and realized if anyone of us slips and falls, we are screwed. It was also at this point I realized that this would not be a good activity for Renee. The climb continued until we reached level ground. Along the way there were more waterfalls and jumps, but smaller than the first. We were all hyping ourselves up for the last waterfall, with the highest jump. No Peace Corps female has ever jumped it before. Rachel is right on board, I am wondering why no girl has jumped it.

After about a 3 hour journey we reach the last waterfall. It’s beautiful, of course. I am looking for the ledge to jump, and from what I see there isn’t any. We all decided we are going to at least go up and then make our decision from there. This time we climb up the side of a steep mountain, safer than slippery rocks. We make it to the top. We all look down, it’s freakin high. Maybe three story’s or a little more. The guide goes first, he survives but he is also Samoan and I swear these people are made differently, superhero body parts. Rachael decides you can’t think about it and just goes. I can’t see her once she jumps and we all listen for the splash, which seems like it takes forever. Once we hear the splash we listen for her, she’s alive. Next all the boys go. Rivka and I are up there alone. I am next. I tell her to say something encouraging to me. I am standing on the ledge, looking down and see this rock protruding out the side. Right now all that’s in my mind is I am going to hit it. Everyone is yelling at me from below, Rivka is chanting “you gotta do it, you gotta do it”. I turn around one more time and look at her, then turn back. I take a quote from my Buddhism book and whisper to myself “I am here”. Close my eyes and jump. The most exhilarating thing I have done ever. Everyone below greeted me with hugs and kisses as a swam up to them. Then we all turned to cheer on Rivka, who jumped. We all hugged and high fived and felt so accomplished. Our tour guide was calling us the super 7. The adrenaline that goes through your body after that is unexplainable, making me look forward to bungee jumping in New Zealand…..

Peace and Love

Gather round kids its story time....

My alarm goes off at 2:30 Am. I slowly get out of bed to boil some water. Coffee coffee coffee. It’s the only way to do this. Its only a day trip so I just need to make sure I have my wallet phone and keys. I hear the bus pass. Okay I have at least 20 minutes if not more. I get dressed and pour my coffee into a jar. I go to open the door and hear what I hope I am not hearing…but yes its true, the bus passing by. But it’s only three o’clock. There must be another one. I go outside and sit. Drinking my coffee and taking in the starry night sky. I must admit it’s one of the best features of this country, the night sky. I have never seen anything like it. It feels like the entire world has stopped, even the animals are sleeping.

3:30…4:00…..5:00

Well at this point I know I am not catching the 6am ferry. Cross your fingers to catch the 8 o’clock.

5:15….5:30….5:45…..crap….

Whatever you think a bus sounds like….insert sound here….

6:00 Jackpot! A bus…

We make our way to the wharf. It’s the small boat but I don’t mind because there are not many people. I sit up at the top and feel the boat rock back and forth slowly making its way to Upolu.

9:30 I arrive at the wharf in Upolu and hurry to the only bus waiting to take people to town. I pull the palagi card and grab a seat. 60 people on a 30 person bus, looks like a hour ride with 2 butts in my face, awesome.

Game plan, go to the ATM and take out money for my New Zealand ticket then head to the travel company to pay for the ticket. Then enjoy the only thing Apia is good for, a decent meal.

10:30: At the ATM….no money.

Sidebar…mom transferred money from my US account to my Samoa acct to purchase my New Zealand ticket. The travel company here offers a killer deal, 250 American dollars round trip. Started Monday ends Friday….its Friday

Cue panic now…

Change of plans….Westpac bank it is.

“I’m sorry but there is no record of a transfer in your account. Go ask for Mika and Junior, upstairs”

Waiting for Mika and Junior…11:30….12:00

Mika brings me downstairs where they tell me the same thing the first person told me.

During this time I am waiting for my mom to call me back….she finally does and says she got a confirmation that it went through. She gives me some kind of number.

Stress level is rising.

The teller tells me that number is invalid. Calls some people upstairs…still nothing

1:00

Mom calls, she spoke with a BOA rep, he says it should be there by the next day.

Okay so someone else doesn’t have my money that’s good. Stress going down….

1:30

The bus for the last ferry leaves at 2:00…

I sprint to the travel office. Purchase mine Tevi’s and Olivias tickets.

1:55

Sprint to the bus stop….

I like to go out the same way I came in…Samoan ass in the face all the way to the wharf.

What did you do today?

Peace and Love

Jolly July

            July was a month of constant climb, climbing back to the top. As you all know, June was a low point. Thankfully, each day in July got better. Like I said I would do, I took the pressure off myself. I opened my mind back up to the culture, and in return fell in love with it again. Most importantly, I took time for me. When you choose to do something like this with your life sometimes people mistake giving yourself with giving up yourself. I am giving my time, patience, help, knowledge, love and compassion to these people. I needed to remember at no time did I say I would forget myself, give up who I was to do this. What made me… well me. I think what made me come back to a high point was remembering myself, I was giving all of the love, compassion and help to the people here but not giving it to myself and gradually I stopped giving it to them without even realizing it. My goal for July, work on myself. In the end working on myself made me a better person, volunteer and teacher and most importantly I was so much happier.

So to recap July for you all….

            As you all know we had a beautiful program for the 4^th of July. Go America. School was going well. I felt my bond with the teachers and students growing stronger. I saw improvement in the school and students. My reading program is going well, the days that I could actually do it. There are still the struggles of dealing with such an irregular school schedule, different mindsets between me and the teachers. I try to take in the small changes I see day to day. I also realized I am not just here to teach and change the lives of these students; they are changing my life and teaching me things about myself and the world. We are putting on an English program at the end of term 2 (end of august). Each class is preparing some kind of performance, all done in English. Parents and friends come to watch the event. I along with neighboring PCV’s will be the judges, because somewhere along the way it turned into a competition. There is a small obsession with trophies here.



We did lose our first 83er. It was hard for me to lose such a close friend, especially in this situation. It was the right decision for her, and I am proud of her.  A good thing did come out of her early departure; it made me realize that this is where I need to be and where I want to be.



Me and Liv ready for our advenmture



The rest of July is kind of a bore. Rob and Olivia spent a weekend at my house. We enjoyed dinner at our favorite pizza place on Savaii, the only pizza place, Seki a Pizza. Rob built me a bookshelf which just changed my bedroom drastically. We also took an adventure to Nancy’s house for lunch one day. I use the word adventure to make it sound, well adventurous. The truth is we walked for 15 minutes to a nearby bakery and sat for an hour waiting for the bread, which wasn’t done in time to catch the bus. So we gave up on the bread and caught the bus. Enjoyed a delicious American meal of Kraft Mac n Cheese. I did wear a cool hat to look more adventurous.

My favorite meal on Savaii



Rob the builder



Enjoy the Pictures….

Peace and Love



Cat for sale...2 tala



mark and grace practicing their ABCs

Year 8 Girls

Katie and Me

Sarai taking after her Peace Corps Sister

Love you girl....missing you

Pig Brains

Today I tried pig brains

it wasnt very good

It tasted like dead pig

But i never thought it would

Gooey and mushy, it feels like slime

Eating this stuff should be a crime

So if you want to try this disgusting dish

I tried to warn you but do as you wish

But i must tell you and its not very kind

If you eat pig brains your out of your mind

 

(based on true events)

Bigger than Me



PC Samoa <3 Girl Scouts



“If you are currently serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, please stand”

We were the last people to celebrate 4^th of July in the world. It was a beautiful gathering of fellow Peace Corps volunteers, returned volunteers, PC staff, Embassy members, Ex-pats, and people from the Samoan government and community. All who are, once were, working for or befriended by a Peace Corps volunteer in their lifetime. We were not only there to celebrate US independence, but also the 50^th anniversary of Peace Corps. At the beginning of the program fellow PCV and MC of the night, Blakey, said the twelve words that gave me chills and filled me with pride.

“If you are currently serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, please stand”

Everyone was watching us, beaming with bright eyes and smiles. Not just Americans either. They were happy we were there, they were proud of us, and they were thankful for us. As silly as it sounds our group looked around at each other, and shot smiles back and forth. It was a rough month, a lot of questioning and insecurity. This was the night we needed. It reminded us of who we are and why we are here. When the returned volunteers stood up, some volunteers who served over twenty years ago, I realized that this experience is about being a part of something way bigger than just me and group 83. It’s about being part of Peace Corps Samoa.  It’s a special group of people who I will forever have a connection with, even if I have never met them. Talking with old volunteers gave me the courage I need to make it through to the end and it wasn’t sugar-coated. I know it will be hard until the very last day. But who joins the Peace Corps to have an easy life? I kind of asked for this didn’t I?



The night not only boasted on the PC but as well as our motherland. Red White and Blue was everywhere. An orchestra of Samoan children and PCVs played throughout the night. We sang the national anthem, which made me want to be at a Rays game. There was festive cake and cupcakes. We ended the night dancing around the yard like fairies with sparklers in our hands singing the National Anthem one more time. For just one night we were able to completely be the thing we are most proud of, Americans.

Lopati and Danny



Often this experience is compared to a rollercoaster ride. When I meet with other volunteers a common questions is “where are you on the rollercoaster?”I think you are able to see that through my blogs. Last month I wanted to get off the ride. Now I’m shouting with my hands in the air ready for more.

Peace and Love

  

Me and Supy

My Biggest Fear

When I joined the Peace Corps I had many different expectations. I thought I would be working with the poorest of the poor, living in a hut made of mud and sticks, no running water, and let’s just say I never thought I would have the luxury of a flushing toilet. Emotionally, I thought that I would be dealing with the feelings of inadequacy of myself and contributions. I feared that I would never be able to give the people enough or what they deserved. I was prepared as I could be for everything above. I was ready to rough it. I was ready to be torn apart but only to build myself back up to another person. I was going to come out of this experience a new person.

So I am going to be honest, and I warn you it does not shine the best light on me. I think you will find my current state interesting and a different perspective; one I definitely never saw coming.

Impassion: My best semester in college was my internship. I was so passionate about teaching and my students. I dedicated all my time. I love it. Even when I did my practicum teaching in my training village I felt like I was on fire, I love every minute of it. When I first arrived at my site I was so excited to teach and bring new ideas and methods to the school. I was so excited to see the students each day. Since term two rolled around I feel like I just go through the motions every day. I still put in as much work as I did before however I think you could notice the decrease in my enthusiasm. I don’t want to do anything else that may be different because the next thing will be “what else can you do”.

Unappreciated: Now this culture is amazing and I receive more respect than imaginable. I don’t blame the people on why I feel this way. It’s part of their culture and a difference between ours and theirs. I guess this is part of a fear I had before coming here; the whole I would never be able to give the people enough. I feel that way but only because I am always asked for more. I would be okay if I was asked for help on lesson plans and teaching methods. But at times it’s “more things” that are wanted and are not realistic in the situation. I am finding out a lot of what I am capable of, but my main goal is to get the teachers to realize what they are capable of. I want people to want to do instead of me just doing.

            Unhappiness: This is something I have been working on and almost overcome. I knew I would be struggling and unhappy at times, but again not for the reasons I thought. Mainly I am unhappy for feeling the two things above. I hate that I feel that way. I also think that it stems from giving up yourself when you come here. When you arrive the village you want to be the perfect Peace Corps. You give up lots of parts of yourself to be culturally appropriate. There is a fine line though, can’t forget who you are.

Burnt Out: This is a correlation of all the words above. It’s just discouraging considering I am only 9 months in.

            As a volunteer we have specific goals. No volunteer is in their site to find a way to get a bunch of money. Ultimately we work with counterparts and an organization and teach those ways to receive aid, set realistic goals, and run a successful and effective program. We need the groups of people we work with to be sustainable on their own once we leave. It’s a tough battle especially when the people you work with may have different ideas, goals and priorities. For example; I think desks for student might be more important than VIP toilets.

What feeling does almost every Peace Corps dread the most?

            Wanting to go home

How do I cope with this?

Focus. I went back and rewrote my goals for my term here. You have to take the pressure of yourself. Big or small; a change is a change. I am finding my way back to a balance. I do things that I need for me. This experience is such a selfless sacrifice but you are useless if you’re unhappy. Remember the past and planning for the future can be exhausting. You can’t compare this time to what was and what will be. You will only find yourself in a situation of missing and wanting.

Even though I have been feeling like I want to go home I know it’s not a option for me. Everything I have been going through is all part of the journey. I knew that I was signing up for a two year commitment. But I get it; I see the reason why so many people go back.

So here it is… my biggest fear. When all is said and done…

Did I give up my happiness to stay instead of giving up my pride to go home?

Peace and Love

No worries mate...too easy

Australia

            Sitting on the flight to Sydney

“Enjoy your holiday?” – some random Australian asks me

“I am actually going on my holiday now” Followed by the explanation of what I was doing in Samoa.

Its always amusing when someone asks you how long you have been in Samoa or planning to stay. But this post is not about Samoa!

Australia was amazing. Landing in Sydney I had butterflies in my stomach and tears rolling down my cheeks. It reminded me so much of America. I walked slowly towards the baggage claim looking at the different stores and restaurants. Traveling on a Peace Corps budget helped me to restrain myself from going on a shopping spree…just in the airport I know!

Once I had all my belongings I walked outside, my body got confused “where in the world have you taken me”. The cold dry air, was pretty much the opposite of Samoa. My skin immediately dried up and my toes were looking forward to closed shoes. On my way to the hotel I just starred out the window in shock, feeling like a child who just arrived to America for the first time.

It was so good to see Colleen and Summer, they greeted me with cupcakes. Our agenda started as soon as I put my bags in the room. First was a bike tour around Sydney, which was an amazing way to see the city. We looked around some  different stores and had a lovely dinner. The next day we breakfast with a Koala and a walk around the local Zoo. Then we headed up to the Blue Mountains, beautiful scenery and quaint little towns. We saved the best for last, the Sydney Bridge Climb. We were able to have the most amazing views of the city, and cheers to Colleen who conquered her fear of heights!!! And to all you seniors who are reading this, we had a women celebrating her 80^th birthday who joined us the bridge climb! A more extreme but awesome alternative to watching soaps all day wouldn’t you say?

The next part of our trip was The Outback (and for all those who are wondering, no I did not go to a outback steakhouse while I was there), a definite change of scenery from Sydney. It was a scenic place. Cold mornings and nights and breezy afternoons. We saw Uluru (large red rock) and learned about native people whom they do not call Aboriginals, but I can’t find my paper to tell you what they do call them (sorry). We did a Camel ride into the sunset and woke up early one morning to see an Outback sunrise, we may or may not have been freezing our butts off to enjoy it. We had a afternoon BBq where we tried Kangaroo, it tastes like steak, and learned about the stars.

Our final destination was Cairnes (pronounced Cans as we were told). I felt like I was back in Samoa a little bit. The jungle and the coast was similar. The people, food and accommodations were slightly different. We took a train ride through the jungle and the a sky rail over the mountains. We went to a cultural center where we learned more about the Aboriginal people and saw some of their native dances and music. We were also given the opportunity to throw a boomerang. The last day in Cairnes we went to the Great Barrier Reef. One of my favorite parts of the trip! It was so colorful and the picture I have below do not do the reef justice but you can get a idea.

Okay now, a major event happened on the boat ride out to the reef and I must talk about it. You know when you’re young and your parents won’t let you do certain things and they say “one day you will understand” or “you just wait until you have kids…”. Whatever the issue might be, you don’t believe them and think their horrible parents for not letting you do what you want. Listen to your parents kids they know all.

So there was a group of maybe 40 or 50 girls on the boat. If they were blondes, it was an awful dye job showing black roots, and more like white not blonde. When I looked at their makeup I thought maybe they might be going to prom. And then there were the clothes, the “booty” shorts if you will. Most of these girls were attractive, but then they walk past you and you see them from behind, and see their actual behind hanging out of the shorts. Come to find out that these girls were from a beauty school. Go figure….

Thank you Mom and Dad for not letting me wear makeup and even when I was allowed, keeping it limited. Thank you for not letting me dye my hair. Thank you for not letting me walk out of the house looking like as Grammy would put it, a coodavee.

And last but not least….I finally understand why my Dad got so frustrated when we were on trips and we would be on our cell phones constantly or wanting to watch TV or play video games.  All these teenagers were on this boat like the view was something they see every day. Their eyes, glued to their Iphones the entire time.

So parents don’t worry your time will come when you can turn to your child and say, I told you so.

All and all it was an amazing trip, can’t wait to go back some day.

Enjoy the pictures…

Peace and Love

Can you find the Koala?

This guy was so hungry he wanted to eat my camera

Three Sisters...in the Blue Ridge Mountains

Blue Ridge

Sydney Bridge at night

Me and my Camel riding in the Outback

Uluru at Sunset

Sunset in the Outback

Uluru

Train ride in Cairns

Cultural Center

Me Summer and Colleen

Great Barrier Reef

Peace Love Australia <3